Cereal Blogger

I really like Giraffes
Secretly Princess Diana

I never look back, Darling. It distracts from the now.

she/her
cis

bwwwssssshhhhhhhhh:

earthdad:

Girls need to stop wearing crop tops or I might have to resort to action by tickling them and blowing on their tummies bc they’re so darn cute

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iguanamouth:

he who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not start playing dnd as one - friedrice nicesheep

sarahseemssilly:

theycallmethemoose:

everkings:

gildatheplant:

pragtastic:

fifty-shades-of-gandalf-the-grey:

leomoriat:

poesdaughter:

Or, y’know, that thing called “Passover.”

Or the whole thing with Noah’s Ark where he killed off everything in the world except Noah and his family, and two of every animal. Y’know, no big deal. Just millions of people.

90% of the Old Testament is about God killing people in temper tantrums

Are we not going to mention Jesus?

Nailed it.

*wheeze* 

Oh my god.

Nailed it.

(Source: atheismblog)

blameaspartame:

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood …"

sluttynuggets:

aphtaiwan:

johnhamishmorstan:

I don’t understand american school years what the fuck is a freshman or a sophomore why do you have these words instead of the numbers

what why would you use numbers

so IT FUCKING MAKES SENSE WHAT THE HELL IS A SOFT MOORE OR A FRESH MAN WHY ARE THE MEN FRESH

(Source: vexingholmes)

sassy-hannah:

trying to impress people you admire like 

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freemindfreebody:

tattoome:

Tattooed moms!

:)

arise-chicken:

intellectualbadarse:

HOLY SHIT SIGNAL BOOST

OKAY OKAY OKAY so you know how certain men are SCARED of testicular cancer checks??? Having a stranger grab their balls? They could do this instead!!!

(Source: srsfunny)

troq:

songofages:

schazam:

Elizabeth Báthory is one of the most prolific serial killers in all of history.

She was born into nobility and was highly educated but also very vain.

One day, infuriated, Elizabeth struck one of her servant girls so hard that some blood dripped from her face onto Elizabeth’s hand and she immediately thought that her skin took on a glowing freshness of her young maid.

Elizabeth believed she had found the secret of eternal youth. After this, women were abducted and hung upside down, while they were still alive and their throats were slit to prepare Elizabeth’s bath.

The Countess of Transylvania and four collaborators were accused of torturing and killing hundreds of girls, with one witness attributing to them over 650 victims, though the number for which they were convicted was 80. Elizabeth herself was neither tried nor convicted.

Can I just time in here and say a few things, since half of what is written here is straight from the wikipedia page, which don’t get me wrong —it’s accurate— but extremely underwhelming.

“Elizabeth” Erzebet Bathory was so much more than some vain bitch who killed over 650 women, she was a vain bitch who could speak and write more than two languages, in a time where a woman writing one was unheard of. She was raised mostly by her very infamous openly bisexual aunt, and was a torturer and a murderer before she was 14 (rumored).

This woman was the person who made the villagers quake in both fear and revelation, that the courts refused to take action against when young girls started dissapearing, when bodies started being found. She OWNED the country, her family was richer then even the Lords presiding over it, she had all the say.

Her and her ‘accomplices” (which by the way, they were extremely trusted, and unlike her, they were executed without mercy when the truth came out), would gather village children who their parents practically threw their way in hopes of a better future, although the children would never live again. She didn’t only hang them, she caged them, used iron maidens, spears, so many different objects. And the whole ‘bathing in blood’ thing, although is technically can be true, that and the whole striking her maid is all exagerrated to add to the story. Her and her husband got off to killing, literally, they liked the screams. If she bathed in blood, it wasn’t to be younger, it was to enjoy their life ending. Not to say she wasn’t vain, but for good reason. She was considered the most beautiful woman in Hungary for all of her days.

And she technically was tried, although as I said before she practically owned the country, they couldn’t actually kill her. But she had killed another young girl of noble blood, and that couldn’t just be set aside. So instead of execution, they sentenced her to house arrest for the rest of her days, unable to punish her for all the women she had killed.

Also, she had three children, and regardless of her murderous ways it was said that she had been a wonderful, loving mother. Strange how the ‘vain blood mistress’ can be more than just, isn’t it?

I could go on and on about this woman, I’ve read and watched basically everything pertaining to her due to reports and essays that I wrote when I was younger, and even though she was a horrifying murderer, she deserves a bit more than ‘blood bitch’.

It’s also interesting to note that one of her descendents feels so bad about what his ancestor did that he donates blood as often as humanly possible.

 glorifying a serial killer because she’s a woman smh y’all need jesus

bloodcaste:

bloodcaste:

i have zero patience for these things:

  • slow internet
  • 14 year olds who think theyre edgy bc they smoke weed on weekends
  • bronies
  • screaming babies

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AW SHIT SON

(Source: femmeasfuck)

jerkidiot:

I’ve been really angsty on twitter lately

rniguelangel:

theonion:

clickholeofficial:

Beyoncé Makes Susan B. Anthony Look Like A Shit-Sucking Gutter Feminist

From our sister publication, ClickHole

The ironic thing about this article is that it’s satire that’s supposed to be making fun of Beyonce’s feminism by comparing her to a “great” feminist like S.B. Anthony, when actually, Beyonce /is/ a better feminist than S.B. Anthony. Like S.B. Anthony was a fucking racist puta who only care about white femininity and stepped on black men and women in order to achive ~suffrage~ like… lmao ??  Susan B. Anthony /IS/ A Shit-Sucking Gutter Feminist

daanhowell:

someone stop this man 

melleverdeen:

Why aren’t there more posts on here about the Scooby Doo movies? Because seriously

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these

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are

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the

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best

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movies

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ever

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